Walking past the seasonal aisle, attacked by pink and red hearts, ‘I love you’ messages and tacky gifts is an unwanted universal experience that rolls around every February. It’s often discouraging to see Valentine’s messages and loving gifts when there’s nobody to give them to. Many feel the pressures of the holiday based on the foundation of loving a significant other. While some may sadly ignore them and others may be angered by them and resent the holiday, there are healthier ways to enjoy the holiday of love.

Valentine’s Day as a principle may be to celebrate the love of a significant other, but it can be so much more, whether that be self-love or appreciation of friends and family. The pressures of having a significant other during the holiday are an unnecessary societal pressure when the holiday can mean so much more. 

Self-love is the foundation of a healthy life and giving it attention during the holiday can be a good reminder of your own self-importance. Many overlook the importance of self-care during a holiday supposedly celebrating the love of other people, but it can be a great way to celebrate both the holiday and yourself. The activity can be as small as buying yourself flowers to getting a nice meal, but anything to make yourself feel more cared for and confident is a healthy way to celebrate such a loving holiday. 

Some of the most supportive people around are friends and family, and celebrating their love and support is a great way to enjoy the holiday of love. Grabbing all your friends together and going out for a nice dinner, activity or just watching a movie together is a wonderful way to both spend time with the group of people you love and a distraction from any feelings of loneliness during the holiday.

Even though the years of being single have passed and I’m no longer alone for Valentine’s Day, I’ve really had my struggles with the holiday. I had a lot of difficulties accepting any form of love and appreciation during the holiday because it always felt excessive and performative, but I’ve come to realize it was genuine love and appreciation being sent my way. People don’t necessarily send over a box of low-quality candy with a funny message on it for performative reasons, they do it because they care. It’s always been very difficult to accept appreciation because I never felt that I deserved it and it was my biggest struggle to overcome. I academically overwork and challenge myself, I participate in many activities and work long shifts, always leaving room in my life to fall short of the mark and feel bad about my performance. To learn to appreciate myself and my efforts, I had to start with the basics of self-care and really didn’t take it seriously until two years ago. Taking time to journal, reflect or buy something I’ve been wanting has been a great way to appreciate myself and all that I’ve accomplished.

Valentine’s Day never has to be seen as a day to look down on yourself for not being in a relationship or feeling undeserving of love, it’s a day to take a step back and reflect on the different forms of love in your life. My journey of self-love and appreciation during the holiday only just started but working up the courage to be proud and love yourself will lead to the ability to love others more deeply. This Valentine’s Day season, I’ve decided to love myself most of all, the relationships I’ve formed, my family and friends, and anyone that’s helped me get to the place I am now.