Handholding, kissing, giving flowers, all actions with a romantic connotation attached to it, but it can just as easily be used in a platonic or familial sense. A father holding hands with his daughter through a crowded park, a grandmother kissing her grandchild’s cheek, a mother receiving flowers from her son. Focusing strictly on the romantic aspects completely sweeps these intimate and loving moments under the rug and yet our society treats romance as far more fulfilling and important than other relationships.
When was the last time you heard a song that focused on a close friendship? Or watched a movie without a romantic subplot? Throughout media, romance is pushed towards us, with other relationships being treated as lesser. How many times has a main character completely disregarded their friends and family for a love interest with little to no consequences? I mean, there’s a whole, overbloated genre for romance of which I can name about a hundred pieces of media for, but I could barely name three that focus solely on platonic relationships.
By placing so much emphasis on romance and having a romantic partner, it makes a person believe that they need a partner to live a happy and fulfilling life, even though that is most definitely false. It is seen as a failure in our society when one is unable to acquire a romantic partner. When one mentions their single status, they are met with pitiful looks that say, “I’m sure you’ll find someone soon.”
The biggest issue arises when that pressure for a romantic connection culminates into an actual relationship. An important part of dating is that both people are dating because they enjoy each other and their company, but when one jumps into a relationship, it isn’t so much the person that they focus on but the relationship itself. Humans are social creatures, it’s in our nature to want those intimate interactions, whether it be physical or emotional. This introduces a problem where you end up in a relationship with a person you don’t really know, leading to unnecessary conflict and emotional strain that never needed to happen if you had gotten to know the person beforehand.
This greatly affects younger people who see these depictions in media and see these people desperate for that kind of connection, and they too, begin to place much of their self-worth on this misguided notion of romance. High school relationships have a reputation of going awry, and that’s because many high school students just aren’t prepared for that type of relationship yet. One should work on their own shortcomings before committing to a relationship, but high schoolers are still working on their basic life skills at this point, most still can’t show up on time, and many high schoolers haven’t even mastered basic empathy. To get into a relationship at this point of their life, would not be advisable.
This influence goes all the way down to middle schoolers, who are already going on dates despite not even being able to do basic algebra. I have a sister in middle school, already talking about boys, and honestly, it’s concerning how young the people who are pursuing these relationships are getting. These children, just out of elementary school, are already concerned with looking pretty for boys and looking cool in front of girls instead of reading their assigned readings for their ELA class.
People downplay how beneficial friendships can be. Who comforts you when your boyfriend breaks up with you? Who got you that cheap magnetic necklace with the polar bears holding a heart that’ll break in a week? Friendships are so vitally important, in fact, even in relationships, it’s important to have that foundation of friendship before you can have a successful, long-lasting relationship. When someone separates themselves from their friends to hang out with their significant other more, it removes them from their support system. It’s nice to have many people that you can talk to to gain other perspectives and to refrain from becoming too emotionally dependent on a single person.
Overall, what I would advise our student body to do is not to refrain from pursuing someone you’re interested in, but instead to work on figuring out what you actually want from these relationships. Is it because you enjoy that person’s company? Or because you just like the idea of a relationship? Because in the end, that’s what will dictate how your relationship will develop. Make sure you are getting into a romantic relationship because you want it, not because that’s what society has led you to believe you need to be happy. I can promise you, relationships are not the end all be all of happiness, and you can be an emotionally fulfilled person without candle-lit dinners and heart-shaped boxes of chocolate (which you can buy on your own).
