Something has happened recently that is taking a toll on me and my mom’s sanity.

For years, my mom has had a some type of mass appear on her neck just under her chin. Neither my family nor her thought anything of it since it went away so quickly. We didn’t push her to go to the doctor, and she even joked about going to the doctor. We’re figuring out now that she should have gone.

Recently, the mass showed up again. But this time, it was different. This time it was much bigger and it actually hurt her when before it didn’t. She went to the doctor, and it’s pretty much a sure bet that it’s cancer. She is getting a biopsy soon, and her and I are scared to death.

If it is cancer, then it just makes us even more scared, but no matter what, she is going to have to have it removed. This, in itself, is the scariest part, because the mass is located right next to major face muscles, right below her jugular and right next to major nerves.

At first, as I usually do when something happens, I felt nothing (or I forced myself to think I felt nothing). But lately, I have been slowly breaking apart. At school, I am really quiet and when a person makes the slightest rude or even sad comment to me, I burst into tears.

I know they did nothing wrong, but I just can’t help myself at this point. I apologize to anyone who I yelled at, especially my boyfriend Zachary Harrellson, who deserves to slap me ‘till I pass out.

I’ve also been questioning how good of a daughter I am, considering I am a brat most of the time. I’ve been trying lately to be nicer and more respectful to my mom, since she’s under a lot more stress than I am.

I hope everything turns out okay so my family will be at peace and I won’t have to yell at anyone anymore. I also hope I can get back to being normal at school and hang out with friends again.

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