One of the biggest things that shapes up into the person we will become in the future is our relationships with others. It isn’t hard to see the impact that romantic connections have on myself and others around me, and the negative aftermath that can follow. Sometimes when you know it’s time to move on, it’s hard to let go from something you already are so familiar and comfortable with. But being comfortable with someone doesn’t always equate with being happy with them.
You can be comfortable with someone, but secretly be wanting somebody else. You can be comfortable with someone, but might be thinking about breaking things off for your own personal growth. How do you know when it’s the right time to leave and how do you know it isn’t a mistake?
Throughout high school, we will all go through the phase of really liking someone and wanting to spend all your time with them, to being bored everytime you two converse. Outgrowing someone who you might’ve loved is normal. There might’ve been a quality that person had that you loved about them, and now you don’t get the same butterflies in your stomach about it. You might’ve been an extremely active responder to their messages, and then suddenly began to slowly ghost or respond less. Being disinterested isn’t a crime, but leading somebody on to believe you are still given the same level of commitment as them is. These breakups are beneficial for both parties, because you aren’t getting anything positively out of your connection. Losing feelings isn’t either persons fault, but it’s best to communicate it so you don’t drag on something that isn’t right.
For seniors, we are all the closest to having to worry about our future and the things ahead. Leaving something we know to start something new doesn’t just apply to high school for some couples, because a lot of senior year breakups happen due to the distance that is going to be between them during college and the idea that you need to “start fresh.” High school love is young and has so much hope and promise, while college changes everything as it represents a period of re-discovery. As a person slowly shifts into their new identity as an adult, they will realize that the expectations for the people around them are different. This newfound maturity makes us realize how childish all of our younger relationships truly are or have been, and might make us want to break off the relationship that we see as having that baggage before we move onto the next chapter of our lives.
Have you ever felt that loving someone can be draining your own mental health? Don’t compromise your own sanity to save or fix someone else. The mindset that you can fix them is toxic overall, and it’s important to be aware of the repercussions of continuing that relationship. Regardless of it’s a mental health issue, loyalty or trust issue, etc. you need to come to a mutual decision of where you two can either meet in the middle, or split your separate ways until things can be healthier. Knowing you’re in a toxic relationship is one thing, but continuing to stay in it is another. You come first no matter who you are with, and your own mental health is the top priority. You cannot love someone who doesn’t fully love themselves, nor can you change someone. Love doesn’t change people, you can only change yourself.
No matter the reason you might choose to end a relationship, always remember to keep it respectful and know that you did the right thing instead of leading them on. Having good support systems around you can help get you through this change and support you in areas you might’ve gotten from your significant other. Doing what is best for yourself is the only thing that matters, no matter how other people might try and make you feel.
