Hair vs. puppies

I am literally about to start pulling my hair out; which is saying something because my hair means more to me than the lives of all of the puppies in the world. Seriously. But, I feel like that would be the only legal way to express how jumbled I feel inside. Not to sound like a whiny teenager, but I’m freaking out right now.

And I’m not freaking out in the annoying way some girls do. I’m not worried about finding my true love or getting the perfect homecoming dress. Well, maybe I am a tiny bit. But, that’s such a small percentile of my freak-out-meter that I feel like it does not even register as a complaint.

So what are my complaints you might ask? Well, sit down and relax while I spill my guts about my pathetic life.

I’m freaking out about school. Calculus is so much more stressful than I thought it would be, which is saying something because I’m a nerd when it comes to math. And I’m not doing fantastically in AP Government either. Basically, this is the first year that I’m genuinely concerned about how well I’m going to do academically this year. And, while that may seem like a petty thing to be concerned about to you, you don’t understand. My life is based on the fact that I’m a nerd and I do well in school. That’s the one thing that has been my anchor all of these years and if I lose that I really don’t know how I’m going to feel about myself.

Besides high school being a stress factor, there is also the threat of college looming around the corner. I’m freaking out about the applications I’m going to have to fill out and the scholarships and the recommendations and the visits and financial aid and just everything. It’s all too much and it makes me feel like there are literal boulders on my chest. Not figurative boulders; literal boulders crushing my insides.

Not to mention work and friends and newspaper and NHS and Sparteneers and theatre and getting a chance to do my freakin’ nails (because I don’t want anyone to think that I’m dirty, with dirty nails).

It’s all just too much and I’m starting to crack. All I can say, is thank goodness Fall Break is coming up. Without that oasis in the back of my mind, urging me to keep going forward, I’d be dead and buried.