What is air?

Remember last week how I was the epitome of freaking out? I’m still on high alert mode. Despite my predictions, I am not adjusting to my jam-packed schedule. So, I guess I was wrong. Because that never happens. I really don’t know how I’m going to make it through my senior year; which I find ironic, because senior year is always looked to as ‘the time of your life.’ All I can say, if this is supposed to be my shining moment I’m not going to make it past twenty.

I can’t even express how stressed out and sleep deprived I’m getting.

Last week, I cried at school twice. Twice. This coming from a girl whose heart is made of stone. That’s not good. That’s not normal. That’s not acceptable.

Now, of course after a couple hours of sleep, I realized how out of control my emotions had gotten, but that’s not the point. The point is I’m watching myself break down right before my eyes. And I can’t stop it.

I just don’t know how to slow things down. I feel like I’m on one of those carnival rides, and the stop button has been smashed in by a drunk clown. I can’t stop the spinning in my head or the feeling of my heart dropping each time I go around, even though I know it’s coming.

Meh. I hear how pathetic I sound, and that kills me even more because I tend to pride myself on being a relatively strong human being. But, then again, it’s not like I’ve never be wrong before.

I need to just keep chanting my go-to mantra; fall break, fall break, fall break.