It’s the final countdown

So, my anxiety has recently reached an all-time high. Finals are on the horizon and they have already taken over every corner of my mind. I’m not ready, I’m not ready, I’m not ready. Oh, have I mentioned that I’m not ready? The thought of taking the final for well over half of my classes terrifies me. The only finals I think I’m actually prepared for at this point are my newspaper and teacher’s aid. And that is pathetic.

I’m just not prepared for anything else. Every time I feel like I’m finally getting on track with school and work and life someone has to remind me ‘oh no, you’re actually not even close to where you should be right now.’

I just don’t know what I’m going to do.

This is the most uneasy I’ve ever felt about taking finals, which is ironic because these finals are probably the most important. My grades are not where I’d like them to be and these last tests can make or break me.

And I have a sinking feeling in my chest that they’re going to break me.

I can feel it in my bones.

Gosh, I have never been more concerned about grades in my life. Usually ‘A’s come easily for me. I get them without having to stretch myself past my breaking point. They have always just kind of happened. But, suddenly this year they are all out of my reach. I have exemptions just rotting away because I don’t have the grades to use them. I feel like I’m trapped in quicksand and the more I struggle to free myself the more ensnared I become. I don’t know what to do anymore.