Surviving the chaos of Christmas

As finals have gotten closer my anxiety has only grown; what used to be a seed of doubt has now grown into a full-out panic. I literally have had no time to study – I’ve barley had enough time to reach due dates. Due to the fact that Christmas is nearing I’ve been swamped at work; and I’m not just saying that. I’m not boo-hooing over working fifteen hours a week; double that and then maybe you’ll understand how I feel.

Now, I’m not going to lie, the money is good. But, what is the point of money if I don’t even have the time to spend it? I feel as if I have been merely surviving for the last couple of weeks and that is no way to live. I shouldn’t be aiming to scrape by with my sanity. I should be enjoying myself – this is my last year as a kid after all.

There is also the fact that work emotionally drains me. By working in retail I’m required to be peppy and happy all day. Do you realize how tiring that is? I’ve been putting on a brave face and pushing through the exhaustion, but there are some days where I feel like just curling up in a ball and sleeping for a week or so.

I’ve gotten to the point where I catch myself seriously considering just not going in to work some days. My daydreams have gotten out of control. I’m reaching my breaking point.

It’s like I’m trapped in this game of tug-of-war. I feel like I’m attempting to juggle too many things in my life right now and I’m just waiting for everything to come crashing down.

I guess I’m just going to try to drudge through the next few weeks. After that, I’ll get some really relaxation time during break and then things should slow down at work considering Christmas passing.

I just need to keep my eye on the prize and stay focused. But, the more time that passes, the harder that has become.