Back in the game

Ladies and gentlemen, I am back.

Although I have only made it to one hour of the school day so far, you can now find me walking through the halls of FHC with all the other students, scurrying off to class and sitting properly in those lovely stiff desks I missed so much, letting my brain grow like everybody else.

The first day back was surreal. It felt as if I was returning from an extended vacation in which I was never sure I would really return, but the vacation wasn’t really a vacation, more like a forced state of leave. Seeing all the familiar faces of my friends in the hallway, hearing the babble of voices, the bustling of feet during passing period, and the unforgettable daily greeting from Mr. Schneider, “It is SO good to see you all today”, made me so happy to be back at school, and honestly, I never thought I would say those words in my entire high school career.

As I was waiting for the call from the district to confirm my return though, I realized that in the past couple of weeks, as I spent the majority of everyday resting in my home, with frequently persistent company nonetheless, I had grown to genuinely missing school. I missed the outbreak of laughter of the class when someone made a comical joke, I missed the light hearted banter between my friends at lunch, I missed the ever constant determination of all the students to get the teacher off subject, I missed lab days in AP Bio. The list could go on and on. I missed everything — the environment, the people, the building itself. I think I was even precariously close to falling into the status of an ultimate nerd, for I was almost even craving the ridiculous amounts of homework they enjoy piling on us at the most inopportune times. Missing homework is not normal, folks, so I think my return seriously saved me from a state of delusion.

I think the timing was perfect, to say the least. Even though walking the length of the hallways and sitting in a desk for 50 minutes did increase my dizziness and made me feel a little woozy, I think it was the most enjoyable feeling of dizziness I have ever experienced in my entire life. These next couple weeks are going to be tough on my body as it struggles to function under normal life conditions, as Wednesday (my first day back) was the first time I had awoken before 9 a.m. since surgery, it is well worth it, and I think easily doable compared to everything else that I have been through. Although slowly, I am getting my energy back in teeny tiny increments, and though the progress may not seem apparent to everyone, to me I’m making giant strides everyday.

I’m not quite sure if I have mentioned this phrase before, but life is all about perspective. We all have problems. Some have tiny problems that seem like huge ones to them, and others with unfathomable adversities that they never let the world see. Whatever weight someone carries on their shoulders though, I have come to realize that sometimes we get caught up into thinking that our weight is heavier than anyone else’s surrounding us. When life seems hard, sometimes it’s necessary to take a step back and look at all the people around you who walk with their shoulders weighed down every day with problems, problems that may be worse than yours, and watch as they never fail to always maintain a composed and steady step.

I met a woman once who told me that whenever she started to feel as if her troubles were getting the best of her she would always look at a picture of a mountain. It’s vastness, power, and beauty always set her in her place and reminded her that there were bigger things in life than herself and her problems. So as I return back to school and slowly start integrating myself back into my normal daily activities, I will be keeping that image in the back of my mind and her words close in my heart. No matter what challenge I face, whether it be walking up and down those awful stairs or completing those seemingly preposterous amounts of homework, I know I can now do anything with a smile on my face and true appreciation for being just able to do the things I do.

In simpler words, it’s just great to be back.