Popular among students, the cartoon “Adventure Time” follows the main protagonist, Finn, in his adventures across the magical “Land of Ooo.” Part of his adventures involve his relationship with Princess Bubblegum, and how Finn feels that he is in love with her across multiple seasons. Later in the show, however, Princess Bubblegum makes it clear to Finn that she does not feel the same, effectively friend-zoning him for the rest of the story.
Like Finn, many teenagers have a hard time deciphering how someone else may feel about them and defining what their relationships with others might be. Some teens, like junior Toby Kelly, have a particularly difficult time separating their love for their friends from their attraction to someone. Kelly feels that the confusion may stem from the undefined nature of friendships.
When he has various friendships that all have different dynamics, it can be hard for Kelly to not feel how some may have a stronger personal connection. There’s no rulebook for friendships, so it can be easy to mistake that link between friends for something more.
“There’s not really a fine line between friendships and romantic relationships. Different friendships can mean different things. With one of my friends, I’m not going to do the same thing I do with a different friend,” Kelly said.
While friendship may continue to be confusing, others have found some telltale signs as to how much they like a person. For sophomore Skyler Gardner, a crush is defined by nervousness.
“I know I have feelings for someone when I’m not able to talk clearly around them,” Gardner said.
Not only does it show herself she has a crush, but it’s her favorite part of having one.
“The one thing I really like about liking someone is getting that feeling of butterflies in my stomach,” Gardner said.
Most people become aware of their deeper affection for someone when their subconscious or their body tells them so. Butterflies, blushing, and a racing heart are some typical examples of the body letting one know some of their feelings. Much more elusive, however, are the feelings based on one’s consciousness.
Kelly and Gardner both depicted a want to get closer emotionally to a person, mentioning how many of their feelings of romance began with someone who was originally a friend.
“When it comes to crushes, I have to be good friends with someone first before anything else starts,” Kelly said.
To even begin to feel romance with someone, many people need to develop a relationship prior, something that their mind can build off of in their attraction. Gardner builds off of previous connections when pursuing love as well, spending time with the person in question before determining if she is interested in them.
“Whenever I’m not sure how I feel for someone, I try to hang out with them and think about how well we work together before I go after them, and that usually works well,” Gardner said.
When seeking out a new relationship, Kelly and Gardner have developed multiple strategies to determine whether or not they feel something special. Even after using these tactics, some may still be unsure about their thoughts and emotions. When all is said and done, counselor Trevor Wolfe chooses to recommend sticking to what you know.
“I think dating can be a learning experience that can be supported by parents while the student is still typically at home,” Mr. Wolfe said.
While seeking out a relationship in high school can be fun and healthy, he believes that being friends with someone can consistently be a safe bet.
“I would suggest to students who feel split between choosing friendship and love, choose friendship. You can never have too many friends,” Mr. Wolfe said.
