Punk goes not punk

Annually, it seems, Fearless Records releases some sort of “Punk Goes” compilation, featuring “punk” bands covering non-punk songs from different important eras in music. There’s one catch to this scheme, though: there’s not a single punk band on any of their compilations anymore. There were a few to start, but the number has drastically dropped to zero.

I probably never would have listened in the first place, but several music websites just taunted me with the idea of Never Shout Never covering “Bohemian Rhapsody.” It was impossible; the band could never do it justice. Maybe I never gave them a chance, but Never Shout Never’s cover made me want to stab my ears with the nearest sharp object. Envy on the Coast’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower” is really more of a cover of Jimi Hendrix’s cover of Bob Dylan’s “All Along the Watchtower.” I’m not saying Jimi Hendrix’s cover is bad, I’m saying Envy on the Coast’s cover of Jimi Hendrix’s cover is bad.

Sadly, this trend of bad bands covering whatever Fearless Records decides has been going on since 2000. The first compilation, Punk Goes Metal, at least had several bands associated with punk-like Strung Out and Guttermouth, but soon after the compilations began to feature whatever modern teen pop rock bands could get thirteen-year-olds to spend disgruntled parents’ money on their terrible CDs. On second thought, maybe Fearless Records is smarter than I thought, because they’re probably getting rich off of this.