Out with the old, in with the new

Christmas, ahem, I mean Holiday, break has already come to a close. What a bummer. I didn’t even have the time to register that I was in the midst of a break. What is a break? How do I get a break? How do I catch a break? Please, teach me the break concept.

To make matters even worse, my teachers didn’t skip a beat in regards to getting back into “school mode.” Every single teacher I have immediately jumped back into their lessons and homework and lectures. If this is any hint at how the year is going to be, count me out.

I’m actually just being melodramatic. Sure, I wasn’t ready for school to start back up, but no one really was (expect for those few freaky kids who need school like I need coffee). Yet, something about being back in school is bothering me. It’s not the suffocating feeling that I’m actually used to. It’s a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. This uneasiness that has no explanation.

I actually don’t think that school is the cause of this uneasy feeling. I think it just makes it harder to ignore. It’s hard to ignore thinking about things when you’re shoved into an environment centered around thinking. Sure, I could try to merely focus on my school work as opposed to my own personal feelings, but I’m not a robot. That’s not only impossible, but improbable. I can’t just walk around numb to myself. That’s just bad policy.

I really can’t put my finger on the cause of this feeling. But, it makes me wary. I feel like something bad is on the horizon. I don’t know what yet, but I can’t make the feeling go away.

Maybe I’m just being paranoid.

Maybe it’s a warning sent from the Mayans that the end of the world is nearing.

Whatever it is, I just want it to go away. I’d like to be able to eat something without it wanting to come back up and wave ‘hello.’ Is that too much to ask?